Not Sure Anymore

     I've been working on this blog for quite some time and while I do enjoy doing it, it's been a work in itself and one that I'm not sure where to go or what to do with it from here. I found that I don't like posting Silver Mane here, I'd rather post it on other sites where it would makes more sense. Places where you won't have to click a ton of buttons to go through the whole series. But what really to do with this. I've been here for years and I feel like it's gotten me no where. I haven't made any connections and most days recently it's been feeling like a waste of my time. Time that I could dedicate to writing more books. I just don't know right now what I want to do with this blog anymore.

Dealing with personal feelings

     Title says it all, this post will be a bit short and very personal. As hopefully all of you know I did recently release my first fantasy genre novel, and I was hoping it would do well. I figured sense it isn't such touchy subject (porn for a simple word) that it would bring in a wider group of people. It let me down. I'm not sure why I expect so much from myself, or my books, and I don't know what I'm "doing wrong". I don't know what I really expected, just thought that if I tried hard and kept going that it would slowly get better. My numbers dropped with this book. I know not everything I do will be great, but I always just hope that instead of one selling maybe two will.

     I don't really know what steps to take next to build my audience, maybe I should dump money into something now that I am overworking myself with "normal jobs". I just don't know what to do or where to turn to next on this, and I feel it breaking my spirit. I have all these books planned and I am so excited to write them, but yet I feel like I never will because I need to work "real jobs" and while yes I can (and will) keep writing while working 60+ hour weeks, it feels like those novels will take so much longer and my dream feels like it's fading.

     I apologize for such a depressing post, but I do feel like others need to see they are not alone in their feelings. This happens. It sucks, but it does happen. You can either let the feelings win, or keep writing. I know that I will keep writing.