Hopeful plans

By this point I'm as tired of saying it as you all are of reading it, but over the next year I actually want to focus on my writing.

I want to get some books out, set up some daily habits. Really let myself have at the work that I love doing. Maybe even find a few rejection letters.

I have a lot of stuff from over the years all piled up. Some of it I believe is pretty decent. Some other things, not so much. The more I think about it, the more I feel drawn to write select stories and when I ask myself why. The answer is simple.

Because gay.

Told you, simple. It the world of stories you're told to wrote what you know. Well, I know a little about a lot. Doesn't mean I need to write a cookbook about 100 ways to use ramen noodles. Useful, I'm sure, but it wouldn't satisfy me. I need hope. I need struggle. I need the world to see a side of life that not everyone gets to experience.

I need to show someone that it gets better in a way that only I know. So stick with me friends. I'm working on some pretty intense lesbian stories. I can't wait to share them with you.

What I've been doing

This is really gonna be a repeat of most posts with similar titles. Life happened is the short version. Last September I had taken a step up with the company I was with. Honestly, I loved my day job. However, it added 20 hours a week driving alone. Full time and toss in some overtime. The weeks were long. The days blended together. I finally sadly had to leave because it had become a toll on my health. Only now am I starting to feel myself again.

But have I wrote anything more in this time?

Kinda?

I did push out a few shorts. Links and more info of all my novles will be posted here over the next few weeks. Otherwise, not a lot was done. So again, I feel like I'm starting all over again, and it oddly feels good.

Daily tracking.

With NaNoWriMo on its way all too quick, I wanted to really start looking at my career as an author. So, how does one see progress? You track it in some way. So to give myself a visual I'll be tracking some of my selective stats over the next few months and keep more written records of my progress. I can only hope that it helps.

What are some of the things you do to view your own progress?

I Love Being a Lesbian

     Like really, most days it's just my favorite thing to do, not even in a sexual way. I work at an AMAZING place who is very LGBT friendly. Like even worldwide awards for being in the top of it all. Anyway, I love trolling my customers some days. I work downtown Chicago between the Magnificent Mile and Navy Pier. High end kind of area, lots of tourists. It never fails there are days where one of our customers gets angry at me for following company rules, and claims something sexist, or bigoted. 

     Sadly, I'm used to this kind of behavior so it's really easy to just ignore their hate. However, this one guy, he must have been having a really bad day and when I served him his food (He ordered hot food and I made it and brought it out to him.) and he said quite loudly that he wanted a refund because a 'nasty dyke' touched his food and couldn't believe how someone could let 'those people' work there. I snickered a bit and went to give him a refund. Due to my position, I have that power. 

     I never got a chance to give him said refund. My manager was sweeping the lobby at that time and just happened to overhear the conversation. They weren't too happy and promptly kicked him out for harassment. 

     I love my job, and I love being gay. 

     A few other perks include having a super cute girlfriend. Being able to complement girls and not being called a creep. Boobs. Having super cool hair. Boobs! A feeling of security with my partner. Did I mention boobs? 

     haha in all seriousness, it's great, and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

New Job

Wow, some days I still just can't believe that I've been a published author for a few years now, but I've always known that it wouldn't be enough, at least not in the beginning. So I've always had a 'day job' as well as working on my writing. 

Today is an incredible day, after working just one year at my current location, I'm now starting as a supervisor. This is great for me. It means more money, more benefits (like health insurance!), and times to come will be a lot more stable. 

So that's good. At least for me. My writing however, will more than likely take the hit. Sadly there are only so many hours in a day. 

Who know's though. This might be what I need to refocus myself. I do have that massive list of things I need to write and I'm getting more ideas every day, so I will have to get myself focused on that. But perhaps writing will go back to being something I really enjoy and can get myself into more so. Books have always been an escape from the outside world for me. My own included.

Making Friends.

     As a lesbian first and a writer second sometimes I find it hard to make new friends. Even more so sometimes it's hard to find people I could even talk to about my books. At least outside of my wife, whom I'm sure is sick of hearing about it. She's actually a really good sport about it.

     Anyway, it always amazes me when I do make a new friend even more so when said friend says they write as well. So now for the next few weeks we will swap stories over the next few weeks and if I am lucky, I'll have her as a friend for quite some time. Also I might be able to con her into being a beta for my current projects.

     It just goes to show, you never know who's in your same boat.

I love being Gay

Like really. Girls are so pretty and I just can't help myself.

It also never stop amazing me the ways that I impress them. Story time!

I'm at my day job and working with all females. No big deal, I get along great with my co-workers. This one however, super sweet girl, breaks a nail. I ask if she needs some nail glue. "Yeah." She says a little heart broken. I tell her no worries I have some in my bag, I'll go get it. Her face is priceless and her nail is saved. You don't have to want anything from a woman other than her happiness.

I Saved My Girlfriend by Not Kissing Her

  In today’s world most of us don’t think twice about kissing out loved ones. Especially if they are about to leave for a trip or just away for a few hours. I don’t live near my girlfriend. She lives up in the city, I live outside, but we both go back and forth a lot. My day job is up there in said city, so it’s not like we don’t see one another often. The other day I was taking her to the train station, making it easy on my car instead of back and forth, and we got there early and sat in the car just talking. Sounds normal right? You would again in today’s world not think much of it. If you’re gay, or lesbian, or even trans however, you do actually think twice on things.

     I didn’t kiss her goodbye. It killed me and broke my heart, but let me tell you why.

     The entire time we sat there, two guys in a car next to us watched us. Intently. Not gesturing, not saying anything, just watching. It made my stomach knot. Fear crept into the back of my mind and warning bells went off. Something in my gut told me not to kiss her that day. Something told me not to be gay. She left on the train and I watched her walk through the doors. The moment she got through, one of the guys got out of the car and walked in after her. No bags, luggage, not even a backpack at nine o’clock at night going up to the city. It was odd. It scared me. I actually was afraid that something would happen to her.

     Did anything? No. But then again, I didn’t kiss her either.  

Sorry

     I know that this one single word doesn't really mean much, nor does it fix anything. But you all deserve an apology. I haven't posted anything for quite some time now. And that's not fair to you all. I will however explain what has been going on that has brought my writing to a screeching halt.

     Life in general this year has been pretty rough. Early this year the love of my life walked out. She left her business, her stuff, even her cat with me. It left me pretty torn up. I've sense been dealing with it and working on getting my own life together. I realized that I lived my life for someone else, and that in the end, didn't make me happy. So on top of dealing with that mess, I have been keeping my job and working very hard towards moving up in my company. So while that's not bad news, it does keep me busy. I've also been tasked with finishing all of the commissions sense "I was the one who was paid for them". Most have been paid for well over a year or two but that's all besides the point. So I'm working my normal job away from home and trying to get those done on my days off.

     I was doing very well on writing every single day, at least one thousand words, but even that fell apart. I woke up late one morning, had an event early the next after a late night shift and it all just went downhill from there.

     In short, it seems like my life is just falling apart. I don't always have access to internet so that doesn't help with posting things. It's just crazy. I do however hope to get back on track soon. Today being a day where I'm actually writing. So I'm trying. Little steps.

Almost 10,000 Words

     While I haven't been as focused on my blog as much. To be honest, I haven't really had a lot to say. At least not about any of this kinda thing. Plenty of other ranting but I don't think you all want to hear about that. Anyway! I have been happily writing at least 1,000 words a day. I just passed day nine today and it feels so good to see those numbers. I mean about 90% of them are just trash and ramblings. Heck one day I even counted down the last ten words by just writing out said words. Sad, but I at least did it. I refused to shortchange myself.